Bodegaverse Wiki

PART TRES- some of the spellings may be off

Bodega peered once more through the quadnoclers, 5 hours he’d been watching the Pulsar Sex Pit and the only thing suspicious was that he couldn’t find anything wrong, this wasn’t right the pit was a legendary hangout out for every laz slinger and roid runner in the galaxy. most of what could be loosely be termed his compadres use this very spot to reminisce catch up and do business. This time it was different it was hurkburks burkday , a very special day for the Burkian people when they celebrated the day they were born. Bodega wondered why in his experience humans never celebrated this occasion, but he didn’t give a flying cruff for it himself . "Flaarv it.", he muttered firing up the tare cycle and zipping down to the pit. He couldn't pass up the chance to see everybody even if it did feel suspiciously innocent too innocent like way top innocent a hundred percent chance sh!t was going down here for that very reason guaranteed one hundred percent. Parking up he ran a quick mental sitrep, laz gun, cocked and loaded. naturally , jetpack, read to rock, Scram boots, pumped to the max, Grabby Grabby, spring wound tighter than a Spurlupion's love pouch, Shruvien knuckle duster, eager to do business with some chum's speak hole. There was more tricks up his sleeves but bodega was reluctant to even think about them until the time came in case some sneaky empath was trying to get the drop on him.he took a deep breath and banged the quantanium door, fa’av off said a voice from the other side ‘Bodega’ said Bodega a moment passed then the door sprang open and a gigantic vigarc was in the frame grinning like a woodlehound ‘sweet grunkle Bodega’ he boomed ‘come on in part not seen you in awhile Hee been busy’

‘Where's the burkday burk’

Down in the pit and i mean pit said the vicarv grinning even more, if his grin extended any more he was endanger of losing an ear .bodega headed down the dark corridor into the lobby then descended a ramp towards the deafening sound of the pulsar sex pit in full flow, music with so much bass it was causing the planet's orbit to decay booze so strong the toilet had to be reinforced with giga shields and women so bitited bodega had to wear quantinuum jockstrap to prevent any inconvenience, no man wants to fight with a bone on or at least not one that aint squared away combat style.he headed straight for the bar and ordered a pint mobar ale. No sooner had he started  talking then ‘BODEGA!’screamed a man over the music which the dj promptly stopped silence in the pit all eyes on Bodega pushing through the crowd a huge berkian approached ‘Bodega been awhile not seen you since maybe two weeks ago’

‘Been working came back to wish you a happy burkday, hurkburk’

‘Well well well well bodega back in the pits’, hurkburk grinning. People sure were smiling alot thought Bodega too too much smiling aint no call for all this grinning and smiling it aint usual

‘ we were hoping you’d come back , me squibbles, rhombus trig and you remember this guy right?’ a huge guy in a yellow jumpsuit stepped forward, black skull and billowing red cape . Bodge couldn't see his face behind the mask, but he knew he would be smiling like the rest of these hum funkers ‘fa’av’ it was was a set up the man in the yellow, it was none other than tan blatcheman Bodegas arch-nemesis. Shit was about to get extremely real in this place and many many people about to be separated from parts they held most dear. Bodega intended to get out of here in one piece and if that meant the end of the pulsar sex pit and everyone in it or even inside of it  then so be it. Bodega knew three things had to happen within the next second or he’d be toast first you have to distract every single person in here who is pointing a gun at him, the pit was full so that was maybe 200 people, no problem. He stamped on down on the on the bottom on the heel of his right boot and waves of patented happy thoughts brain musher poured out of the toe and blasted everyone within 50 meters half would end up on the floor drooling the other half would become deeply acquainted with the inside of their own eyelids and spend the next year singing a song about a little flea named peter second he needed to nail the people unaffected by the brain musher, which was anyone with half an idea about Bodega and what he was capable of of since they would have taken a dose of brain shield that meant the 5 morons who set this whole thing up. Laz gun holstered and no time to draw it he needed to sub 2 plans b c and d. B was to employ the grabby grabby at hurkburks nut which he did to good effect the grabby grabby shot out of Bodegas left sleeve and clamped on like a groggling pit sending hurkburk to his knees eyes wide mouth small. Plan c squibbles rhombus and trig all fell to the void grenade, Bodega had had hidden in  the molar tooth and spat into the middle of them congealing their bodies instantly into one  homogeneous lump, finally plan D deal with blatche no doubt he got something disgusting up his sleeve , that cape wearing jumpsuit adorm pendejo shitbird.Bodega figured one thing he wasn’t ready for an old-fashioned punch in the kisser, scram boots propelling him across the room he connected with blatchemans jore  with all the fury of a man invited to a burkday party only to be betrayed and thirdly the entire bar on its ass one way or another, Bodega did the decent thing and left. Laz gun out he shot a hole in the ceiling and jetpacked gracefully to a height of 200 meters before hovering and setting wide-angle beam on the laz gun and raising the entire plate and everyone in it to the ground ‘fa’av’ he said pausing for a heartbeat my tarecycle was parked there.