Bodegaverse Wiki


This is a fan-made tale about Bodega Vs The VapeLord Originally made by Pyrion Flax in the Triforce podcast™ (This iteration was made by Simpleh on Reddit rumours from sector 7). Unfortunately, It doesn't capture the essence of the traditional Bodega writing style.

The tale[]

Bodega breathed in the Groggy air of the Harrben planet, "Reminds me of home" he said to himself as he entered the 'ash saloon'. He walked up to the bar, "The strongest you've got." he demanded. The bartender passed him a bottle of khellek mead "20 krutons a bottle," said the bartender "we only accept Farron currency." Bodega handed him the coin, "I'm looking for a man, The VapeLord." Bodega said to the barkeeper, suddenly, the saloon doors got kicked in, "Hey butthead! Outa my seat!”. “There’s your man." said the bartender. Bodega turned round. There he was. The VapeLord, The ancient rōnin. Bodega had heard tails, he heard if you blinked, you'd be dead. Bodega doesn't need to blink. Bodega is too fast for that. "Let's take this outside." said Bodega as he took another swig of his khellek mead.

Bodega and The VapeLord stood outside, in the blistering heat of the Harrben sun, no more than ten feet apart. The VapeLord drew two katanas and threw one to Bodega. "I know you have come to kill me, butthead. I hope you fight with honour." Bodega said nothing and picked up the sword, its blade shimmering in the light. Both men now stood in defensive stance. The VapeLord went for a charge, Bodega evaded swiftly and swung a counter attack. The VapeLord defended. The battle went on for several minutes, "You're pretty good, for a butthead." The VapeLord said as he stabbed Bodega in the gut. Was this the end for Bodega? Bodega started to evaporate into nothing, “WHAT?!” exclaimed The VapeLord in shock, it was a hologram! Bodega appeared behind him and impaled The Vapelord through his chest and said “The name’s Bodega, butthead”. With his last breath The VapeLord wheezed, “You son-of-a-bi----“

“Another day’s work.” Bodega said to himself as he went back inside the saloon to finish his khellek mead. Once he walked back outside he noticed something in The VapeLord’s pocket. A vape, more powerful than his own. He took it and wiped it on his shirt, and took a deep inhale of vape, and exhaled covering the whole town is a thick cloud of vape. He returned to his ship but didn’t fly off. Why? Coz he’s drunk af. Don’t drink and fly kids.